Becoming a tutor

I am still very nervous to become a tutor. I don't know if I am capable of doing it effectively enough to help these students pass the test they have to take at the end of the semester. As of right now, I am not doing too well in this class so I imagine I won't even have the opportunity to tutor in the first place. In any case, I think tutoring is going to help me a lot in my teaching abilities. I want to teach elementary students as well as college students and I think this will help me get used to what it is like dealing with college level students. I am taking another class this semester which requires me to do an internship at an elementary school to get experience. So, overall I think this whole semester is going to give me more insight into the world of teaching and whether or not I'm actually going to be good at it. I think that once I observe some of the students I might feel a little more comfortable with it and get a better understanding of what's required of me exactly. My worst thoughts are that I won't be able to make a difference for any of these kids which is my main goal as a teacher. I want to be that teacher that no one forgets and always remembers as "that teacher who changed my life," as corny as that may sound. I wouldn't want to be even partially responsible for one of the students failing that test is all I'm really saying here. I'm a very shy person and I think that's what's also getting me nervous about this because I'm scared I'm going to freeze up and not know what to say even though I may actually know what I'm doing. I believe myself to be a pretty decent writer, but definitely not good enough to help someone else as a writer. And now that I write that, I realize this post is all over the place with thoughts so I guess I should point out the fact that I'm writing as everything comes into my head in case that wasn't obvious.

About Me

My name is Jennifer. I've wanted to be a writer since I was 13 when I became obsessed with a show called Angel. It got me to a point where I would go nuts every night with its out-of-left-field, cliffhanger endings that I just decided this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to be the person responsible for driving someone crazy and making them wait a whole week to see what's going to happen next. I had a lot of people try to put me down and crush my dreams because everyone believes writing is an extremely hard field to get into, but my response to that was always, "Don't you think I know that?" I'm not the kind of person who rushes into something, especially something that's going to change the course of my life. I did tons of research about salaries and about writers and their struggles in "making it big" and I still went ahead with it. I figured there was a good chance I will fail horribly at this, but at least I could say I tried and didn't settle into a job everyone else told me to do. Unfortunately, after a seminar in Vermont during my senior year of college, I became one of those people who were always putting me down and I gave up writing. Nowadays, if I'm in the mood I'll write something here and there, but its never anything special. I've decided to become an elementary school teacher as well as a college professor. I feel that I could maybe do some writing on the side of that someday and if I make it then that's great for me, and if not, I'm fine with it. I'm in the process of writing a book actually. Actually, it's more composed of a bunch of letters that went back and forth between an old friend and I. A lot of times I get discouraged and start thinking what's the use of writing it. I'm no one famous, why would anyone want to read what I go through in my life? But then I have friends, who are more aquaintances than they are actual friends as I don't see or speak to them much. And even they have thought the idea was great and that they would love to read it. So, this is part of the reason I wanted to take the class. Aside from the fact that it was a requirement for my concentration in english, I want this class to help me become a better writer and help me to fix all the mistakes I make.